Monday, April 26, 2010

The Bill of Night Shift Nurses' Rights

1. All evening and early morning appointments should be offered to night shifters first. Nobody asks you to get up at 3 AM to go to the doctor.
2. It shall be prohibited for your place of employment to call at noon to see if you want to work that night. Nobody calls day shift workers at midnight "just to see".
3. If the sign says "Night Shift Worker Asleep Inside" DO NOT KNOCK OR RING THE BELL!
4. It is entirely appropriate for night shift workers to have a beer at 7:30 in the morning. For us, its early evening. We just finished a long hard shift and we need to unwind. Quit staring. What are we supposed to do, have a beer with dinner before we go to work? That wouldn't go over well with the patients...
5. Shananigans that go on at 2:30 in the morning (such as attacking co-workers with pre-filled syringes of normal saline) are an extremely necessary means of staying awake when the rest of the world is resting peacefully in their beds.
6. Any empty beds in the hospital are up for grabs.
7. Starbucks should make 3 am rounds. They'd make a fortune.
8. Any tricks played on the Day shift are simply a coping mechanism.
9. Anything that happens after 5 AM becomes a DSP (Day Shift Problem) by virtue of the fact that there's a lot more people around during the day to handle such things.
10. Staff Meetings at 9AM? Yeah, as if. See you tonight.