Wednesday, March 11, 2009

My Big Fat Retarded Head

I thought it was worth letting everyone know what a dork I am; it might save some of you a hassle if you learn from my mistake. Iwas at home yesterday afternoon with Sofia, the two of us just hanging out on the couch watching HSN when I heard a knock on the door. It was these two really nice, pleasant guys; my first thought was Jehovah's Witnesses. So Igreeted them pleasantly enough and they informed me that they were going around the neighborhood letting people know about this store that was about to open in Walmart Plaza that was going to sell stuff for cleaning the home, small home repairs, car maintenance, etc... They wondered if they could come in and show me a few of their products so I could maye recommend the store to my friends and family if I thought the products were useful. What the hell, I thought? In hindsight, I realize I shouldn't be letting random strangers into my house, particularly when I am at home alone with the baby, but I tend to be a littletoo trusting of people anyway. It turns out there is no store. There are not"a couple products" there is one; they were vacuum cleaner salesmen.

The"talker" quickly introduced me to his friend, the "demo man" and left. This guy started going into this spiel about his vacuum, the Kirby, which isapparently the oldest vacuum cleaner company in the world. After about 45minutes and the guy was just getting into his demo and I realized he apparentlyplanned on staying for about 3 hours and showing me all 83 functions of his vacuum cleaner. I asked him how much? He told me 2300 dollars. Haha. For 2300 dollars it better do more than clean my house...Well, at that point I used thatinformation to inform him that I would not ever be making a 2300 dollar purchase on something that I saw demonstrated without discussing it with my husband. It was at this point that he suggested glibly that if I applied for the credit and bought it, it could be a suprise for my husband. A surprise! Yeah, I laughed at him and told him in no uncertain terms that my husband wouldn't make a 2300dollar purchase without my knowledge and I wouldn't do it to him either. Theguy ended up calling his partner up and telling him to come get him (it took him like, 20 minutes to pack up his vacuum) and the guy on the other end of the line was giving him crap about it, trying to get him to continue the demostration even though I had told him I wanted him to go. He sat outside of my house for15 minutes waiting for the white van to come back and get him.

Needless to say,I got on the internet and did some research on the Kirby Vacuum as soon as heleft. Apparently, it is a great vacuum (though like I said, it better do morethan that for 2300 dollars). However, the company gets horrible reviews for its unsavory sales tactics in which it targets old people and housewives, trying toget them to sign on the line for "financing" then and there (which is a huge scam and a credit card that you end up paying 29% interest or something on). Their sales tecnique is that once they get into your house they won't leave until you agree to buy the thing and there were numerous examples of people calling the police when the salespeople actually refused to leave their house. Previous customers said the demo guys didn't know what they were doing and have actuallydone damage to peoples' furniture and carpets. Also, part of their justification for charging so much for the vacuum is that it comes with an unconditional lifetime warrantee which most people were furious about and said that getting the things serviced was like an act of God.

Some of the ways they get into your house is by asking if they can ask your opinion on some cleaning products (they will be carrying a bottle of Febreze or Tide or something), or tolgive you a free carpet shampoo. DON"T let them into your house! They also sayyou have 30 days to cancel if you change your mind and then they ignore you when you try to cancel (after you come to your senses). Hundreds of people havegotten burned by them. AND you can buy the vacuum on EBAY for about 500 bucks if you really want it. I don;t need to tell you, I laid there in bed last nightberating myself for letting those guys into my house. They could have been casing the joint and come back later to kill us or rob us blind. I think itmust be the economy, there has been an increase in door to door sales lately. They seem kind of desparate and I feel sorry for them, because I'm sure that they are doing their best to earn a living, but this is not an honest way to earn a living and the sooner they realize that the better. Im thinking about putting a no solicitation sign on my door.

Its stuff like this that makes me wish I lived on a farm in EBF like my parents. I don't think they get too many door to door salesmen braving the one lane dirt road followed by the 6 mile long driveway (over the oft flooded bridge) with wild beasts approaching the vehicle from all sides just to find out if my parents want to see a live demonstration of the best vacuum cleaner in the history of the world. Maybe I should call the local office and refer them, just to see...

3 comments:

Val said...

LOL This reminds me of when my friend Stacey bought a Rainbow. The guy cleaned her counch with it and showed her the water in the machine, which was black. I am sure they put something in the water to make it do that.

xraycher said...

See? Maybe your parents really aren't crazy! Hey maybe you needed to ask them to wait a minute and then come back packing heat!

Rene' said...

I'll shoot those MF's with my glock-9mm....I hate door to door salesmen!!! I own the crappiest $700 knives from Cutco....And those A'holes at Monavie.....the $40 juice in the fancy wine bottle that supposedly cures cancer?????..... have they gotten to you yet??? BEWARE!!!!