Monday, December 29, 2008

Sensible Tips for Daily Living

If you're having marital problems and your husband was recently arrested for domestic violence and he suggests a nice Christmas-time cruise off the coast of Mexico, you might want to develop a sudden case of seasickness and stay in your cabin the whole time, or better yet, not go at all. At the very least, stay away from the rails.

If you are manning the "crime watch" line and a local utility worker calls in, 3 times, to report a suspicious plastic bag less than a mile away from the house where a child has gone missing and is suspected to have been murdered, you might want to check it out.

If you are 22 years old and find yourself strangely attracted to an ancient and totally unattractive former police officer who is suspected of killing not one but two of his former spouses, you might want to just go ahead and kill yourself right now rather than marrying him and becoming his 5th victim, er, wife.

If you are the already wealthy and influential governor of the state of Illinois and you already suspect that you may be under investigation and surveillance for corruption, you might not want to blatantly and un-intelligently try to sell the president-elect's Senate seat to the highest bidder right under federal investigators' noses.

If you are an insanely rich and extremely smart investment banker who has a succesful investment business that makes billions of dollars legally, you might not want to set up an illegal ponzi scheme on the side that will lose money, cause friends and business associates to kill themselves, get yourself sent to jail, and exacerbate an already ailing economy on the brink of collapse.

I'm just sayin'...

Thursday, December 25, 2008

All I want for Christmas is...

This year, because of the Great Depression, we didn't have a lot of money to spend on Christmas, so John Boy had to go sell his hair to buy Marmie some scarlet ribbons...wait. Just kidding.
I got everything I wanted and a few things I didn't even think to ask for. For instance, on Christmas Eve, I was getting ready for work and Sofia said Mama. This time, there was no doubt. "Mama" she said, then, "Mamamamama". She's been saying it, quite purposefully ever since. This was only 3 days after she turned 7 months old, so as you can see, she's very advanced for her age. At least when it comes to talking. When it comes to crawling, not so much. She still hasn't quite figured that one out. We even bought a rug for the living room floor to make it more comfortable on her. She gets onto all fours, turns around in a circle, goes backward, and rolls over onto her back but just can't work up the necessary momentum to propel herself forward. Eventually, she gets frustrated and starts screaming. I think this is why they say second and third children crawl a lot quicker. Because there isn't always someone right there to rescue them when they start to get frustrated.
When I got home from work on Christmas morning, Hugo had coffee ready for me and everyone was just starting to stir. By everyone, I mean Hugo's parents, his brother Alex, his other brother Daniel and Daniel's wife Maria and their little boy Sebastian, and his sister Paula and her husband Alex. Did you know that I have three brother-in-law's named Alex? I bet not. Oh and Maria brought her aunt as well. So we had a full house. Everyone piled into the living room at that time and we opened presents. Sofia got a pair of earrings from her Abuelo and Abuela; adorable little gold butterflies. I then made her cry by trying to take her other earrings out so she could wear her new ones. I was tired and clumsy by then I guess.
Hugo got me a Coach purse and a Coach wallet. I have been hankering after that purse for a long time, but I never dreamed I would get the matching wallet as well. Not in these economic times. I'm so spoiled. Oh yeah, I got him a french press. Whoo Hoo! I'm going to take him to the mall tomorrow and we're going to get a new flash for the camera that HE'S been hankering after for awhile. With the help of a gift card he got from our brother -in-law Mark.
After we opened presents, we had a delicious breakfast of the Pioneer Woman's Sleepin' In Omelet (which I had prepared the day before, ready to be popped into the oven on Christmas morning) and then I went emphatically to bed. While I was in dreamland, Santa's Little Helpers (my in-laws) prepared a turkey as well as all the side dishes I had gotten ready the day before. I woke up, ate, went back to bed, got up, got ready and came to work. Didja get that? I woke up, ate, went back to bed, got up, got ready and came to work. It was great. I got to do all the things that I love about Christmas (opening presents and eating) and none of the things I hate about Christmas (frantic food preparations and cleaning up). Working the night shift for the holidays has its perks. Plus, I wore my Christmas jammies all day and just dressed Sofia up in a real cute Christmas outfit instead of worrying about my own appearance. The pictures will reflect this.
All in all it was a very succesful holiday. And I hope everyone who reads this (my mom, Val, Rene', Aunt Joann, etc...) had a great holiday as well. If any of you guys are wondering (mom) why you didn't get a requisite phone call on Christmas Day, of course its because I had to work. Plus, in these hard economic times, the cell phone minutes are just so dear...