Thursday, October 16, 2008

The Yummiest...

Apparently, its like, even better than a mango (those of you who watch Oprah already know what I'm talking about).

It contains everything a newborn infant needs to grow and develop, and it changes as the newborn becomes an infant and then a toddler so that it always delivers exactly what the child needs at that time.

It provides antibodies and immunity to the child to protect from disease while the child's own immune system is still immature.

It helps mom to lose the weight even if she still consumes far more Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby than is considered necessary and prudent.

It fosters a bond that lasts forever between mother and child.

It gives girls with an A cup that curvy look for the first time in their lives.

It costs nothing.

It gives a mom who happens to be a night shift nurse an excuse for having her baby come into the ICU at 10PM for a "goodnight feeding".

It functions as an automatic "restart" button whenever the baby is upset about anything, has just gotten vaccinated, or is just plain fussy.

It means never having to go down to the kitchen in the middle of the night to prepare or warm a bottle up.

It knows no class or socioeconomic status; its a gift every mom can afford and has access to.

It may result in a decreased risk of breast cancer for the mom later in life.

...And last but not least, it gives closet exhibitionists an excuse for "whippin' it out" in public.

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